Age of Asparagus

Did you all know that Asparagus originally was neither a VEGETABLE………!
A FRUIT………!, or A NUT…!
Nope—it was a MINERAL–like GOLD!
“AAHHHH”

So, gather ’round everyone, and listen to the Ancient Legend of Asparagus….  Written right here in my MAGICAL NON-DIGITAL TABLET)

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Once upon a time on a tiny green planet
QUEEN ASPARA captured every heart

She was stalky, lovely, and POWERFUL
And a Businesswoman who was super smart!
(SHE: YOU’RE FIRED !! )

Then she met GUS, a VIRILE little green man
Who filled her heart with Elation
Together they formed the ASPARA & GUS Corporation
Which thrived and fueled for twenty-seven Generations!

‘Til one dark day down deep in that mine
There erupted a HORRIFIC EXPLOSION!!!  
And ASPARA and GUS and those loyal MONKEYS
Went hurtling through space- that great cosmic Ocean

Tragically, GUS crashed on earth, in the JUNK FOOD JUNGLE- Just barely Alive
And SPELLBOUND by the EVIL HIGH EMPRESS FRUCTOSE
AND HER SICK’NING SIDEKICK YELLOW NUMBER 5!!

But Happily, ASPARA & the MONKEYS landed
‘cross the border, in VITALVILLE VALLEY
Where THE VIGOR OF VITALVILLE nursed them to health,

With–FRUITS!!…echo
VEGETABLES!!…echo
And NUTS!!…echo

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