Once upon a time on a tiny green planet
The LEAN GREEN QUEEN stole everyone’s heart
She was stalky, and lovely, and POWERFUL
And a Businesswoman who was super smart!
(SHE: YOU’RE FIRED!!)
Then she met a VIRILE LITTLE PURPLE man
Who filled her heart with Elation
Together they formed the Low Carbon Footprint
Sustainable Green Corporation
Then one dark day, as they worked away
There erupted a COSMIC BOOM!!
Two ASTRONAUT APES led them onto their spaceship
And flew them halfway to the moon!
Tragically, the VIRILE PURPLE MAN crashed to earth,
In the JUNK FOOD JUNGLE—just barely alive
And SPELLBOUND by the EVIL HIGH EMPRESS FRUCTOSE
AND HER SICK’NING SIDEKICK YELLOW NUMBER 5!!…………………
Good health flourished, bad health was fleeting
As the QUEEN taught the people about healthy eating
The Junk Food Jungle had its upheaval
Even EMPRESS HIGH FRUCTOSE stopped being evil
She planted pomegranates, blueberries and mint
She even changed her name to Auntie Oxidant
HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME!!!
But the biggest surprise was yet to be
Because the VIRILE PURPLE MAN was really ME
And when the LEAN GREEN QUEEN brought us back to Health
I said Bye-bye KING CAVITY
And hello Healthy Self!
And so the VIRILE LITTLE PURPLE MAN and LEAN GREEN QUEEN
Had the most delicious wedding you have ever seen…..
Words by: Rita Abrams